108 Kisses – 13 Steps to Creating True Love and Deep Intimacy in Your Relationship
As we evolve into a higher consciousness many people are seeking a deeper type of love and intimacy. We seek a true love, a passionate, deep and divine relationship in which spiritual growth and support from a partner is a key. I call this true love or divine love. It is the process of connecting with another in a spiritual partnership to create a divine union, to find a sense of oneness together, and to connect with the larger universe and to what I call divine energy. It is the deepest love you can experience, an intimacy that is beyond normal sensations and emotions. Your spirit is touched on the deepest level. When our hearts are connected in true divine love we feel beyond. It is an unconditional love where the heart is the center and our ego surrenders.
Finding true love and creating divine love with another starts with a heightened state of awareness and mindfulness. Once you meet a partner you feel this potential with, you then need to both recognize and cultivate this divine love with each other for it to go to the deepest levels. It is not only the energy connection that makes it work, it is also the effort we put into it to cultivate this deep and divine state with another. Divine love is an action of growth and personal transformation with your partner.
There is someone out there for you that you can connect with on this level. A soulmate. A spiritual partner. Or perhaps you already have that special someone and want to cultivate a deeper intimacy. Even if you have had heartbreak in the past, divine love is open to all of us at anytime. As we grow in our lives different soulmates can come to us at various stages of the journey. It is essential that we first believe and surrender to the possibilities of divine love. We then take the steps to cultivate this love.
How can I create true divine love with another? Below are 13 powerful steps for those that seek to create divine love and deep intimacy with another. It can start with a simple intimate ritual called the “108 Kisses”. Yet the 108 kisses philosophy goes beyond that though. These are 13 powerful relationship guidelines towards creating divine love. If you seek this type of true love that goes beyond any boundaries I would encourage you to try out these ideas with your current or potential partner. If you meet someone special then utilize these steps to cultivate a deep divine love. And if you are in a relationship already these are ways in which you can take it to a new level. Use the steps that resonate with you and your partner the most.
108 Kisses – The 13 Guidelines & Philosophy
1. Create Daily Ritual – Find meaningful ritual for you as a couple. Here are some examples –
a. The Sacred Greeting – As a morning or night ritual look each other in the eyes, then bow to each other with hands together, honoring each other with a simple sacred greeting – “Namaste” which means “the divinity in me sees the divinity in you”. There are many ancient mantras and blessings that can be said to one another. Ancient Sanskrit has simple mantras that use sacred sounds or use just a simple affirmation such as “blessings” or even “I love you”. Find a mantra, prayer or affirmation that has deep meaning to you, and utilize this in a sacred loving manner with your partner.
b. Mantra and chanting – For a longer ritual find a mantra, prayer or affirmation where each of you chants or signs together in harmony or unison. This can be very powerful for couples. There are many meaningful chants and prayers that you can say together from all faiths and beliefs. Again, find one that has deep meaning to you and your partner.
c. Candle Ceremony – Light a candle and saying a prayer or mantra together, bow to each other and then look each other in the eyes for a minute or two. Meditate together in sacred silence. Recognize each other in a sacred way each day, morning or evening. Find a ritual that acknowledges the sacred spiritual connection that you have.
2. The 108 Kisses Ritual – This ritual helps us slow down and connect with our divinity and love for each other. The 108 kisses is simple. Take a mala or rosary, which for those new to this, it is a beaded necklace used for prayer in many traditions. Most malas are based on 108 beads, a sacred number in the vedic traditions, it helps you count when you do mantra or prayer. Now take your time and kiss for that amount of times…108 kisses, utilizing the mala. Make each kiss varied, kiss on different parts of the face, neck and shoulders. Take your time and make each kiss sacred, feeling a deeper intimacy and connection. Allow yourself to transcend boundaries and feel that deep divine love and oneness…forget about time or distractions. Connect on that deep level. There are no rules…the 108 kisses is just a guideline, if you feel uncomfortable with 108 start with a lesser amount and see how it feels. Find a number that works for you, but go slow, spend some time at connecting and creating a deeper bond and intimacy. Try it weekly or monthly for a special ritual and reconnect your passion and intimacy.
3. Make your love a Courtship – When we get familiar with one another our relationship can become mundane. You’ve got to continue the passion and the romance! Promise your partner that you will never stop courting each other. Always do loving things for each other and keep things fresh. Love is an action. Create special rituals and meaningful times to keep the love flowing.
4. Love and Pleasure – By giving each other pleasure we feel a deep connection. The power of touch is so sacred and sensual. Just touching someone gently with your hands or massaging someone is beautiful and healing. Or a gentle kiss on the neck, lips or face. All parts of the body are sensual and need attention. This loving attention makes people feel beyond normal sensations. It brings them to a more divine and sacred place of intimacy.
5. Transcendence – We need to see our relationship as a way to go beyond the limits of ordinary experience. This is far better or greater than what is usual. That which goes beyond. Make your love this way by cultivating the sacredness in everything you do together. Feel the divinity of your connection and journey beyond ordinary reality.
6. Make it Sacred – Make the little things you do for each other sacred and meaningful. Sacredness applies deep meaning to our life and love. Create rituals and court each other. Make your love a spiritual thing in ways which resonate with you and your partner. When you do you will experience a love beyond anything you’ve ever felt.
7. Going Beyond Sex – Creating Divine Intimacy – Sex is indeed wonderful, but intimacy is about going beyond that also. It is about the divine pleasure of touch and experiencing love beyond the physical. Practice forms of love in which intimacy is about sacred touch and a deeper energy connection. Even if you enjoy your love making, take your time, and feel the divinity and sacredness of each other.
8. Honor Differences & Individuality – Find harmony with your differences. Listen and really understand each other. Know that your differences are also your strengths as a couple. Instead of trying to make your partner more like you, which we tend to do, celebrate that they are different. Rejoice in this difference. We want to find the oneness and divinity of a partnership, but also honor and bless each others individual spirit. We are here as individual souls yet we are connected. The dance on what many call the “earth school” is a sacred thing. Help each other on the path.
9. The Art of Deep Listening – Deep listening is so important. Take time to really hear your partner. Do not be thinking about what you are going to say while your partner is talking. Listen deeply to what they are saying including the non verbal cues. And sometimes it is what is not being said that is also important. By opening the heart fully we can truly listen.
10. Practice Patience – One of the most important things we can do with love is to be patient with each other. Always give your partner time to talk and process life in their own way. Do not get angry when they don’t live up to your expectations. Always say sorry to your love one if they are hurting. Give them love. Breathe and let go.
11. Surrender – Remember it’s a journey. Surrender to that journey and to your partner. Go beyond the ego and focus on being heart centered. Cultivation of divine love is an ongoing process. Remember love is a verb…it is daily action. By surrendering to the heart and letting go of our ego we transcend beyond and learn to love fully.
12. Levels of Love – Build on love. When you are seeking divine love there are various levels of exploration. And various times to explore true deep intimacy. Find your ebb and flow of love. Have special times for the deeper aspects of exploration and also times to just simply hold each other. In our day-to-day lives it is challenging to always feel a sense of deep divine love or oneness. Understand this and learn to make special times for deeper intimacy and divine connection.
13. Explore and Expand – Always be seeking to evolve and go beyond. There is no end really to love or to divine energy. It is a journey and exploration. Remember this with your partner. Be seeking to evolve and go beyond in every way in which you can. Divine love is a ongoing process of cultivating love. With a heart centered relationship miracles happen, oneness with the divine is felt and you can do most anything.
Want to learn more about how to find true love and create divine love & deep intimacy in your relationships? Go into further depth with the 108 Kisses Philosophy & the 13 steps.
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Brian Heater has been a spiritual coach & relationship counselor for 30 years and has helped both couples and individuals reconnect to their spiritual intimacy and achieve a deeper state of divine love. Go to his website at tranformingourselves.com for more info on his work.